Every Word You Say
by muldy
Summary: 'It was ridiculous, she knew that. This was the man who had stood by her side through everything and done all he could to protect her and fight to be with her, for four years.' Vaguely based on spoilers for an upcoming season 5 episode. Castle/Beckett


Kate sat quietly at her desk, not really focusing on what was in front of her and completely unaware of the usual chaos that was going on around her. She knew what she was supposed to do, but she also knew that it wasn't what he wanted. No one knew yet, not even his family, and she had a feeling that he didn't want to be banned from the precinct.

* * *

'_Please, Kate,' he leaned forward against the bars. 'Find another way, at least try, for a day or two?'_

'_I don't care if everyone knows, I don't want you to go down for a murder you didn't commit.'_

'_It doesn't even completely clear me and I don't want you to get in trouble with Gates.'_

'_Castle, we're talking about murder! You could go to prison.'_

_He fell silent and looked her in the eye. She felt her stomach flip and tried to push away the sinking feeling that followed. He didn't want her to alibi him because he didn't want everyone to know._

_What did that mean?_

_He moved his hand down the bar so it was touching hers._

'_Fine,' she stepped away from the cell, breaking the contact between them. 'It's your choice.'_

'_Kate…'_

_She turned her back on him and walked away, knowing it would hurt him, but not caring. It hurt her. The man that she loved was in a cell facing a murder charge and he wouldn't even let her alibi him out because –_

_Well she hoped it was just because he was being an idiot and trying to protect her, but that nagging voice in the back of her head kept dwelling on the fact that maybe he didn't want anyone to know because he was embarrassed to be with her. _

* * *

It was ridiculous, she knew that. This was the man who had stood by her side through everything and done all he could to protect her and fight to be with her, for four years.

Love.

It was the first time she had really allowed herself to admit what it was, from his end and hers. She had heard him say it, more than once, but she never let it sink in, it was too hard to deal with, or had been at the time.

She had blocked it completely.

'Yo.'

Esposito dropped a folder onto the desk in front of her and took a seat in Castle's chair. She frowned for a moment, before looking up at him: she had been completely unaware that she had been staring blankly at the chair, something she was beginning to realise she did a lot.

'You okay?' he asked.

If it had been pretty much anyone else she would have forced a smile and told them she was just thinking things through, figuring out a way to help, but Esposito knew better.

'I've been better,' she responded quietly.

'Any luck getting Castle to admit who this mystery woman alibi is?' he asked.

She paused for a moment, unsure how to respond. This seemed like the right moment to tell him everything, to admit what had been going on for months now, but they had an agreement.

Although this was her ground.

She sighed.

'What would you do if you could help someone, but they had asked you not to?'

Esposito clicked, straight away, and she wondered how long he had suspected it. He didn't say anything for a few moments, but a small smile began to spread across his lips.

'If I had made a promise to a friend I would stick by it,' he replied. 'But at least I can stop looking for the alibi and focus on the case.'

Esposito stood up as though he was about to walk away, then he paused.

'Also, it was about time,' he smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.

And for the first time in 24 hours she also smiled.

* * *

'_Beckett?'_

'_Ryan?'_

_She glanced at the clock next to her bed. 6AM. It was a reasonable hour, and the one she got the most phone calls about murders at, but she hadn't had all that much sleep the night before._

_She smiled and glanced at the man lying next to her._

_He was still fast asleep, one arm loosely on her stomach, his hair sticking out in all directions._

'_Have you seen Castle?' _

'_Ryan, it's 6AM…'_

_For a moment she wondered exactly what he was getting at, and if Lanie had put him up to this._

'_There's a warrant out for his arrest.'_

_She sat up straight in bed. 'What? Why?'_

'_I'm at the crime scene now and there's some pretty convincing evidence that points to him.'_

'_Where are you?'_

* * *

She tore the photo off the murder board just as Lanie walked up to her.

'Whoa, girl, calm down,' Lanie held out a coffee to her. 'I thought you might need one of these, since Castle isn't around to bring you any.'

She ignored Lanie's outstretched hand and continued staring at the murder board.

'I'm his alibi,' she suddenly stated.

She was over hiding it. Lanie was her best friend, everyone else had gone home and she needed to talk to someone. She was tired and overworked and stressed and partially worried that this case might actually land Castle in prison.

'I know,' Lanie said matter-of-factly. 'I was just wondering how long it would take you to admit it.'

'He won't let me,' she turned to her, aware that Detective Beckett had disappeared momentarily and she was just Kate.

But no matter how hard she tried to hide her softer side, sometimes she had no choice.

'I want to help him, but no one ever listens to the girlfriend's alibi anyway. Who's to say that I'm not just lying?'

'I'll deal with the you being upset part in a second, for now I just want to point out that you said girlfriend.'

'Lanie...'

'Just checking you were aware of that little fact.'

She hadn't been, and it wasn't exactly what she meant, but she let it go. There wasn't a better word to describe what she was, it was just that girlfriend seemed so immature, childish. Although Castle was pretty immature and childish for someone with a daughter old enough to be in college.

'What would you do?'

Lanie tilted her head to one side, then leaned again the bench next to her, eyeing the murder board.

'Look, having an alibi can't hurt, no matter who you are, but if he doesn't want it he doesn't want it. Anyone at this precinct could vouch for Castle.'

'It just looks bad, Lanie,' Kate whispered. 'The perfect crime, clearly set up by someone who knows Castle well, someone who wants to see him punished for some reason. There are notes upon notes in his apartment on murder and crime and not getting caught, so yeah, it looks bad, but it's his job, just like it's mine.'

'I'm sorry I'm not much use when it comes to these things, I only deal with the death part, the rest is up to you.'

She looked at the board again.

'Wait,' she stood up. 'What if they're not trying to punish him?'

Lanie looked at her, confused. 'I don't get it.'

'What if they're trying to punish me?' she turned to face Lanie. 'I think I know who's doing this.'

* * *

'_Make them stop,' Alexis begged._

_The apartment was crawling with police. Alexis had been on the first bus home the second she had heard of her father's arrest. Martha seemed to be handling it in her own way, sitting on the couch with a martini and watching the police search through her son's things. _

'_Well he is a crime novelist,' she commented to one of the uniforms holding up a book titled 'Famous Murders of the 1990s'._

'_Isn't there anything you can do?' Alexis continued._

'_It's procedure,' she responded, feeling her stomach tugging at her._

_She hated this, hated seeing his apartment, his life, being pulled apart and his family distraught and unable to do anything to stop it._

_For a moment she considered joining Martha with the martinis, but she was on duty and she didn't want anyone else to be in charge of this. She didn't trust anyone else._

* * *

She picked up her phone and dialled the number she had never thought she would have to use.

'Hello?'

'I want you to make it go away,' she said quietly.

There was silence for a few moments.

'This is my private line,' came the response.

'This is a private matter. I warned you and I am warning you again, make it go away or the file comes out.'

There was silence, followed by a click and the conversation ending. It was enough for her.

* * *

_She was sitting alone when her phone rang. It was a blocked number and she knew it would be him. She didn't want to talk, particularly when she knew there would be a uniform listening in._

_He left a voicemail._

'_Kate, I just wanted to say that it's not what you think. It's not for my sake, it's for yours. It took four years just to get to this stage and I can't spend another four years trying to make it all okay again. I love you and I need you to be here for me right now. Not just as my detective, but as everything else.'_

_She hung up the phone and felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. _

_She had to figure this out._

_Standing up she grabbed her coffee and headed back to the murder board. _

* * *

He said nothing as he entered the precinct, simply acting as though nothing had happened, like it was a normal day at the office. She couldn't hide the smile that spread across her lips as he walked towards her and she found herself focusing on the wood of her desk to avoid meeting his eye in view of everyone.

All she wanted to do was jump up and kiss him.

She did the next best thing and as he reached her, she stood up and hugged him.

For a moment he seemed surprised, then he wrapped his arms around her and she felt instantly safe, even though she was in the middle of the precinct and everyone was watching intently, she didn't care. He was there, he wasn't going to prison.

'Thank you,' he whispered in her ear.

'Always,' she replied.

As he pulled away from the hug he smiled, taking a seat back in his chair. Ryan walked past and slapped him on the shoulder.

'I knew you weren't good enough to commit that murder,' he commented.

'I missed you too,' Castle threw over his shoulder as Ryan walked away from him again.

Esposito stopped in between them and looked at Castle, then at Beckett and back at Castle. He folded his arms and looked at them both sternly. Then he smiled and shook his head, walking off.

Castle looked at her in surprise.

'He knows?'

She shrugged. 'Lanie too.'

'Ryan?'

'Not yet, although maybe if we told him he'd stop interrupting us at inopportune moments.'

'I doubt that,' Castle replied.

They fell silent for a moment, then Castle leaned forward slightly.

'So are we okay?'

He seemed genuinely concerned and for a moment she considered playing with him, making him believe that she was still angry, when really she was just relieved he was there.

'Well, you're going to have to make it up to me somehow.'

He grinned. 'Now that I think I can do.'


End file.
